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Watching TV with commercials for the first time in ages and it's so jarring.

Selfie ec alc 

Had a few beers and think I'm feeling the haircut

Mh ramblings 

Going out of town for the weekend to visit with friends and see my mom for the first time in a year. It's a two hour drive, and I have no motivation to get moving and do things. I'm just going to feel like shit in a different place.

Discovered a eurobeat version of Dig Up Her Bones and it's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Ascending to another plane as my brain vibrates out of my skull due to an impending manic episode.

Drugs/alc, mh 

Even though I'm going through it, I've decided I will not be getting fucked up to deal with it this time.

I'm not sure what grieving and healing looks like sober, but I can't keep escaping.

Food 

Managed to eat half a bagel for breakfast, but feel sick to my stomach.

Dear, I'll stay gold just to keep these pasts at bay
To keep the loneliest of nights from claiming you
And to keep these longest of days from waking you
For I felt the greatest of winters coming

And I saw you as seasons shifting from blue to gray
That's where the coldest of these days await me
And distance lays her heavy head beside me
There I'll stay gold forever gold

Been up for an hour and a half and haven't managed to do anything. I am barely functional.

Break up blues 

I think one of the things that's eating at me is that I want that great passion, Bella tend to be pretty ambivalence of most folks I've met off dating sites. So to have had that great passion and lost it feels like an impossible setback. It's as though lost a feeling that's completely irreplaceable and I'll never find again

I got home a little bit ago, managed to get out of my work clothes and fall asleep on my bed twice before getting changed or making dinner

Lol sometimes I feel like I only bring pain and suffering to those that care about me

My commute has gotten worse since my company moved to Brooklyn, but this is the worst day yet. I have been sitting in traffic for 2 hours and I still have not made it to the tunnel. Very cool city.

Today is much harder than yesterday. I fear every day is only going to get more difficult.

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Olds Town

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