i'm Ciarán aka kiki - 34, masc enby, white, irish, musician (@drembot)
i post about politics/society, music, tv, films, chess, some photographs, occasional selfies
i try to be conscientious about interactions (especially with non-mufos) and using CWs as i'm anxious person - if i cross a line i am happy to be told
here for to make friends, and learn about myself and others
mainly earnest posting, might attempt the odd shitpost, not very flirty
like there was a point where i was legitimately considering a phd in philosophy and a life in academia
but i was convinced, and convinced myself, that it was not the way to go
once i decided against it, i just dropped it
its been there with me since, can't leave those thoughts behind, but i couldn't go back to it again
but i think i need to
reading zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance has been like a big slap in the head reminding me i haven't read any philosophy since i finished my master's over a decade ago
it's funny that i was kinda cynical about all the "change your life" shit that goes with it, and it's definitely a mixed bag, but still it's been good to dip my toe and remember how i used to love swimming
India pol, article recommendation
I suggest reading this excellently written article if you'd like some insight in how exactly caste and casteism manifests itself in India today. The piece does a great job of relating these traditional indian social structures to ones more familiar to north american audiences, and also does a great job situating them in present-day politics.
Just declaring our support for marginalized communities isn't enough, it's our duty to educate ourselves on how we can do that. Thanks to @h_tejas for sharing the article in the first place.
on holding friends accountable
so i know i preach a lot about holding your friends accountable, but i wanted to talk about a personal experience i had last night
so last week, i had an altercation with someone in my d&d group. the details arent very important; all you really have to know is that someone got very mad at me and insulted me multiple times before leaving the room, leaving me sobbing
now, i waited until sunday. i expected an apology from this person, because the dm said he would probably feel bad the next day. but when nothing happened, i decided to message the dm, who is this persons best friend, asking what to do.
what ensued was a very long, probably an hour, back and forth of them defending this persons actions. saying "no one thinks they should apologize" and "everyone was upset" etc. etc. by the end, i was in a panic attack, but i had convinced them that i deserved an apology.
then i talked to the person, and while it started out rough, we ended up having a very genuine conversation about what happened, and they not only apologized, but we also talked about what they could do better to prevent this stuff from happening in the future.
and, none of that would have happened if i listened to the dm in the first place. that whole incredibly productive conversation we had, i had to fight for, because this persons friend was trying to convince me it didnt need to happen.
and so the point im trying to make here; is that coddling your friends who have been shit people literally actively prevents them from growing as people or recognizing their flaws, because you convince them that theyre no big deal or dont matter. and youre doing a disservice to them, and to the people they hurt. do better.
veteran's day 2019 thread
i'm a US air force vet. it's been about three and a half years since i got out. i'm getting my degree now. i'll probably be posting in this thread throughout the day about my feelings.
it's a day it's impossible not to have feelings about as a leftist and a veteran.
i'd like veteran's day if it were simply a day to reflect on war and death.
nonbinary, thirties, irish, anxious
here to make friends and chew gum
if you'd like some gum let me know friend, i have loads
i make music as @drembot
No hate. No harassment. Use CWs.