You have to listen to this song for me today and think about how *checks notes* you feel like you're dead when you're not with me

Ootd Show more

It's my birthday give me BOOSTS

I am forty years old today, I can't believe it, and I'm so glad to have met all of you wonderful people of all ages 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Tomorrow's my birthday, today I do nothing in true olds fashion (I'm also barely doing anything tomorrow)

xmas, sorta Show more

you, a sommelier: this merlot has notes of vanilla, oak, eucalyptus, and chamomile

me, an internet: this wine fucks down again? It's more likely than you think

Guess what new people - this is fuckin MASTODON and there’s only ONE RULE: follow the shitload of new and arbitrary rules every user of this site makes up every day for how to use it. Rule number two? Always be making up rules

The Spotify app is right next to the shopping list app on my home screen and I tapped the wrong one, but luckily it's the same thing for both: Meatloaf

Ok now this is working, I think is down though... oh no why did I start all those conversations

Y'all ever think about how much Sir Gawain and that one lord smooched in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

Me benevolently watching over friends' hellthreads

waluigi has a certain... je ne sais wah

@Louisa you thought I was kidding (a little bit of my voice, warning)

one is a plumber, the other a physician, yet they look identical. however it is my belief that Mario Mario and Dr. Mario are two different individuals. over the next 50 pages I will explore this theory in detail

There is no trick to comedy on Mastodon, obviously. Only three of us are consistently funny: my main and my alts

IRL friends: we haven't really talked or seen each other in 2 months, but we're both busy and we'll catch up again soon

Online friends: ohhhh god we haven't talked in 10 hours, they definitely hate me

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Olds Town

No hate. No harassment. Use CWs.